Neutered in New York

Well not really.

But I might as well be.

—xxx—

I enjoy symmetry.

I was in New York in December 2004. I was just beginning at grad school and was clueless of the 6 years of vacillating fortunes that lay ahead. I’ve returned to the city in this penultimate semester at grad school. If one were to bookend a stay in grad school, you could do a lot worse than NYC. My last visit wasn’t particularly memorable. This one in contrast has been brilliant. And it is because of the two things, that I believe, make New York awesome: food and people.

To say New Yorkers are blessed in their choice for food, is an understatement. In the last 3 days I’ve sampled, Peruvian (ceviche, lomos saltado, roast chicken), Turkish (kofte), Spanish (bbq ribs tapas), Italian (delicious tiramisu), Jewish (sturgeon @ Barney Greengrass), Greek (Sheep’s Milk Dumpling + Spicy Sausage), Japanese (sushi) and good home-cooked Indian food (korma+palak-paneer+parathas). Uncharacteristically, I accomplished most of this whilst walking around Manhattan, as opposed to resorting to cabs and the subway.

Seriously.

I walked.

And not just to the refrigerator and back.

It helps to have friends like N. in NY. His encyclopedic knowledge and enthusiasm about everything Manhattan, which on most other occasions would make you want to strangle him, has made this trip just that much more special. N. loves Manhattan. He has a lovely apartment by Central Park. His extravagance (he is dropping close to $3K on rent) means poor grad student peeps like me can enjoy the city like it is meant to be. He is an excellent companion when wandering aimlessly around the city. I feel given a few more years in the city, he might just become an local institution for all of our Pilani folk to visit.

—xxx—

We watched ‘True Grit’ today.

Nicely made movie. But I felt it didn’t need to be made. The Coen brothers talent could’ve been better used in bringing fresher material to life, rather than recycling westerns from the 60′s. The movie doesn’t add anything substantial to the original.

Also, did you know the girl is just Matt Damon in drag. Damn, isn’t he a good actor!

—xxx—

Scarlett Johansson divorced The Douche (aka Ryan Reynolds), over Christmas.

Just as I was beginning to celebrate the liberation of the twins, life kicked me in the nuts.

Natalie Portman is pregnant, they tell me.

<Older NY Jewish Lady Voice> What are you going to do? </Older NY Jewish Lady Voice>

What’s probably more disappointing is that she’s in a movie with Ashton Kutcher! This is where careers go to die.

How the fuck do you follow this:

with:

Fuck you Hollywood!

—xxx—

BTW, permission granted to nut-kick if I agree to go stag to another club on New Year’s eve. In the scale of dumb ideas, this has to rank up there with taking time to think up a scale for dumb ideas.

So NYE 2011, if you spot me outside a club, refusing to bribe the bouncer to get in, after having bought $140 tickets, for a night of watered-down booze and hour-long waits at coat-check, only to have the guy in front of you try to take on a bouncer 3-times his size and fail miserably, and then realize some sneaky fucks wiggled past you while you were helping keep an angry black dude from ripping a puny desi idiot a new one, just wind up … and aim low.

I had it coming.

And now with Natalie Portman popping another man’s seed, what good are they anyway?

—xxx—

Natalie Portman.

Fuck.

—xxx—

And with this ends my token post for the year.
Have yourselves a wonderful 2011.

Be kind to grad students.

Take it away Penelope: